!!! Attention all Male Taxpayers !!!
The only thing the Internal Revenue Service has not taxed is your Pecker. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it's just hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time it is pissed off: 20% of the time it is hard up: and 10% of the time it is employed, but operating in the hole. Furthermore, it has two dependents, and they are both nuts. Accordingly, after January 1, 1997, your peckers will be taxed based on its size. Using the pecker chart below, determine your category and insert the additional tax under "Other tax", Page 2, Part V, Line 69 of our standard Income Tax Form 1040.
Pecker-Checker Scale
Size |
Tax Classification |
Pay this Amount |
| 10-12 Inches | Luxury Tax | $500.00 |
| 8-10 Inches | Pole Tax | $250.00 |
| 6-8 Inches | Privilege Tax | $150.00 |
| 4-6 Inches | Nuisance Tax | $50.00 |
Please note that anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund
Please do not ask for an extension
All males with peckers over 12 inches should be filing under "Capital Gains"